Elimination Communication

My first EC experience was with a cat. I got Buttons when she was only a week old and had lost her mother. I bottle fed and litter trained her. On the advice of others familiar with cats, I started her on newspaper, cueing her to go by rubbing her with a wet cotton ball, to replace the way her mother would have licked her. Once I got the hang of it, I started placing her in her litter box and then cueing her to go. By 4 weeks old, Buttons was litter trained. She was cued and responded, and knew that the litter box was the place to go. If a cat can learn at such a young age, why can't a human?

Most of us start potty training at the age that other people tell us is the right age to start. I heard about EC from a mom at the park, but I thought that was a bit extreme, not something I could do while working. My mom had potty trained all 7 of her kids by age 2, so I figured 18 months was a good time to start. Quincy was done at 22 months.

When Haley was a baby, I started looking into EC. She was dry over night from 10 month on, so around 11½ months, I put her on the toilet first thing in the morning. I started reading the book Infant Potty Training, by Laurie Boucke. Haley was fully potty trained by 15 months old.

This time, I'm starting with an infant. I'm re-reading Infant Potty Training. It's been more than a year since I read through it. So I'm trying to decide just when to start. I'll be going back to work part-time soon, but I can still do this when I'm home.

11-14-05 She'll be 7 weeks old tomorrow and I'm thinking, it's been an hour since she last peed . . . why not give it a try. The little potty is huge for her though, so I got a little 2-cup bowl. Nothing right away of course so I sat down with the bowl between my legs and Aliyah on my lap over the bowl. She was grunting a little so after a couple minutes, I decided maybe this is not the way to do it. Maybe I should try later. So I went to get up . . . and there was pee in the bowl!!! I told Aliyah she went potty (!!!!!!!), patted her dry, went to see what Haley was doing, realized I better clean the bowl before Haley spills it, and went to the bathroom to wash the bowl. Still holding a bare-bottomed infant in my arms who was starting to get agitated (I wonder why?) . . . and out came a squirt of runny yellow breastmilk poop on the tile floor! LOL I wasn't expecting that. It missed the rug by an inch. I guess this is my lucky day.

11-15-05 I am so excited! Thanks to a mom in the elimination communication group who told me "don't put the diaper on the baby, put the baby on the diaper". I was out for a bit today and it's been 1½ hour since Aliyah last pooped so I just took her diaper off and I'm holding her on 2 thick prefold diapers. I put the bowl under her and nothing. I got a snack for Quincy & Haley, sat back down, put the bowl under Aliyah again, and less than a minute passed and there's pee in the bowl!! I don't really expect much, more something fun to do with a nakey-butt baby. But every time I catch a pee in the bowl, that's one less diaper used! That's fun, right?

45 minutes later, Aliyah nursed and fell asleep so I put her down in her swing for a bit. She woke up and Quincy & Haley were playing with her and she was happy so I left her in the swing for a while longer. She just started fussing, I picked her up, sat her on the bowl, "sssss" in her ear, and she peed right away! I think it's starting to occur to me that this EC stuff actually works. LOL

11-29-05 Aliyah's 9 weeks old and she no longer needs the little bowl. We have the Flip-n-Flush seats on both toilets and she can be held there to potty. We're getting her to pee on the toilet about 5 times a day. Daddy even had her pee on the toilet today. We're not stressing over it, not trying to do any certain amount, and no big deal if she uses several diapers a day. We're just taking her when we realize she's been dry for a while, and she's happy to go as soon as she's on the toilet. This is really neat.

I started slowly with all 3 of mine, going just once a day at first, usually right after waking up dry with the girls, when I knew they would need to go soon. (My son peed at night so first thing after waking didn't work as well with him - I just did it at a different time of day when he was dry) Once they got the hang of that, I increased frequency as they seemed ready. I would take the diaper off when it had been dry for a while, let them sit on the potty as long as they wanted, which ranged from not at all to a couple minutes at a time. If they did anything, I'd smile, say "You went potty!!" and keep the diaper off for a while, but put one back on before they had a mess. At first, I'd be the one to say "let's go potty", but over time, they start indicating the need to go.

Once they were going regularly, I gradually increased how long they would spend out of diapers. Eventually, they got to the point of a week or so of mostly bare-bottom. I realized this last one was ready to be diaper-free at 14 months old when she would go to her potty and sit on it to poop even when she had a diaper on. I was kicking myself when she did that a third day in a row because if she hadn't been wearing the diaper, it would have been so much easier to just dump the potty and wash it out than to clean her whole poopy bottom and have a poopy cloth diaper to wash.

After going mostly bare-bottom, I started using undies right after they used the potty, but I would only leave them on for a short time, then take them off again before it was close to them needing to go again. That way, they get used to wearing dry undies but they are not in the way when it's time to go. As they got used to them and I knew how long they usually went between peeing, I'd increase how long the undies were on. I still used a diaper for going out for a few weeks, until we were sure she'd stay dry. At 16 months old, Aliyah was and barely talking so she would come pulling at her undies when she needed them off. It would be nice if she'd talk, but her body language is clear enough.

I never used training pants. I figure either they have enough accidents to still need a diaper, or they don't. For a month or so when we'd go out, I'd use undies if they had just gone. If it had been 30+ minutes ago and I might be gone more than an hour, I'd use a diaper but take the potty along with me. After several outings with the diaper staying dry, I stopped using them and just used undies and took the potty along with me.

I never used any kind of stickers or treats, just smiles and encouragement. I basically approached it like you would learning to use a fork or any other skill kids learn - they'll need practice to get it right, but if they can keep trying without a lot of pressure, eventually they get it.

I think each parent should listen to their individual child. If you can keep it fun and playful, let them try it. You wouldn't withhold any other skill they wanted to try, like holding a fork, which can be messy and take a while to get the hang of, so why withhold the potty if they want it? At the same time, we don't berate our kids if they don't master using the fork by any set age, or if they drop it a lot. We just pick it up and let them try again when they're ready. I take the same approach with the potty as I do any other skill.

I think that maybe my opinion on diaper training comes from me being a Physical Therapist. I deal with people in a splint/cast/brace whose muscles weaken, similar to babies in absorbent diapers who learn to ignore their elimination and thereby resulting in weakened pelvic floor muscles. It takes time and effort to retrain the muscles that control the leg coming out of a brace just as it takes time to rebuild the muscle control used in potty training.

I started doing Elimination Communication (part-time though because I work) with my last one at 5 weeks old and I was amazed at how much control she had in the early months. She would fuss a certain way then wait for me to take her diaper off and put her on the potty. Some people think it's a coincidence if you "catch" a baby pee, but if they repeatedly pee 2-3 seconds after being placed on the potty, it is not coincidence, it's control.

If you look at other mammals, their young are taught early on where to go. The mother carries them to the appropriate place and stimulates them and by time they can walk, they already know where to go. In the 1950's, almost all babies in the US were potty trained by 18 months. Now it's closer to 2½ years. Surely we have not devolved that quickly. I honestly think it's the diapers. They are so dry feeling, many babies have no reason to request a diaper change every time they pee so they learn to ignore their elimination and their muscles weaken to the point of them actually not having control.

Of course that's just my theory. I've never really had experience with 2 year-olds in diapers since most of my friends do the same thing I do. Several of my friends have had their kids gently potty trained and out of diapers before 18 months.